Cause of the pandemic?
Trump’s reign became toxic
and his tweets went viral.
Jail to the chef!
What half-baked idea will Trump come up with next?
Since Trump is confident that the virus is easily contained and isn’t dangerous if you get it,
he should have himself infected to prove his point.
Have faith —
When Trump talks about matters he knows about,
he lies compulsively;
but when he talks about medicine and science,
you can take it to the mountebank.
The presidential hopeful flew to Florida
and started climbing palm trees.
A news reporter asked:
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Money matters in elections.
So I’m greasing the palms.”
No one is more hip than Trump,
transforming the nation from
Trump is a virus.
One day it will be like a miracle.
He will disappear.
Ah! No wonder he thinks
he owns this business
and can sell them or do whatever he wants with them.
The origin of the word is French —
when thinking about immigration, remember
the huddled masses
they haven’t given up.
They’re huddled to decide on the next play.
Trump deserves credit.
He is indeed uniuqe
Never has anyone so ignorant been so stupid;
and never has anyone so stupid been so ignorant.
Trump is more or less correct.
learns no less-ons.
When Trump heard that people are stocking up
for the coronavirus,
he was delighted.
What’s good for the stock market is good for the nation.
What cartoon character is a role model for Trump?
“Fox” in German
In plain English
More women should strive to become models,
like Elizabeth Warren —
No wonder Bernie takes the positions he does.
When the primaries are over
he wants to be the one left.
To slow the spread of the coronavirus
authors should regularly use linguistic cleansers
and word sanitizers.
St. Patrick’s Day greeting for Trump —
Bottom of the night to you.
New plan to combat coronavirus —
Tax cuts for everyone who votes for Trump.
Trump took Latin in high school.
So why should he be afraid of a virus?
He knows that “vir” means man.
It’s manly to have a virus.
Just biden your time.
The sanders in the hourglass
will flow away.
Trump is fighting substance abuse
by preventing the public
from getting information of substance.
Please wear surgical gloves when reading.
Don’t spread the virus to your books.
There are limited beds in book hospitals.
Symptoms of a pandemic —
Stadiums are closed.
Theaters are closed.
Schools are closed.
Businesses are closed.
Minds are closed.
Trump didn’t remember
eliminating the NSC pandemic unit.
He needed to be reminded about that.
He needs to be reminded in general.
Has he ever had a mind?
Trump couldn’t take his own temperature.
That was far too complicated for him to understand.
So he called a temp agency.
No need to panic.
Relax at home,
and watch the old mill streaming.
They finally convinced Trump
to get tested
because the testosterone
would help him with his other problem.
Streaming is becoming obsolete over night.
Everyone is adopting the new video standard.
Covid-19 is everywhere.
God offered Trump wit.
He complained that wasn’t enough.
So God made him a twit instead.
The spread of coronavirus is ending negativity.
Soon everyone will test positive.
Coping with the threat of coronavirus
is like having a baby.
You are likely to end up with
When Alice time-traveled to the 21st century
she was greeted by
Tweetle-dee and Tweedle-dum.
And she was surprised to learn that
Twettle-dum was President of the United States.
Trump banned all pandas
especially performing ones
because he heard that the current health crisis
is a panda mimic.
Trump was prophetic —
He washed his hands
of the coronavirus
at the very beginning.
This problem is unpresidented —
We’re in it because we have no president.
Johnson offered the Great Society.
Trump offers the Great Anxiety.
Removal of Trump from office
is elective surgery
that can’t be postponed.
“What’s tree-age?” asks Trump.
“Is that when you chop down
all trees over 60 years old?”
Product suggestion —
An add-on for streaming news.
Automatically shuts off the programming
when the level of lies reaches a limit set by the viewer.
No wonder the baseball season was cancelled.
The virus came from bats.
A ninety-old man with severe depression
had a smile on his face.
“What makes you so happy today?” asked his caregiver.
“I now have a reason to live,” he replied.
“I want to outlast Trump so I can spit on his grave.”