Trumpisms 6.0: Cos You Can’t Keep a Good Hater Down!

Trumpisms 6.0: Cos You Can’t Keep a Good Hater Down!

146

If Roberts rules for order,

he could right the Schiff of state.

147

Britain has its Brexit.

Now we need our Trumpxit.

148

Putin has finally confessed —

mea culpa

crime mea.

Trump should too,

as the metoo president.

149

As a cost-saving measure and to prevent foreign meddling,

Trump plans to replace our election system

with Twitter.

He is confident that he will never be de-tweeted.

150

Trump’s effort to divide the nation will fail —

He is a total nothing, a zero;

and you cannot divide by zero.

151

Hell to the chief

bottlewasher.

May you never again show your face to the Republic

for which you do not stand.

152

The enthusiastic fans yelled —

“Give them hell!”

Unfortunately, God was listening,

and took them literally,

giving them Donald Trump.

153

Trump’s alternative to healthcare for all —

wealthcare and the wall.

154

So the record will read

that one Republican Senator had a pear

when 50 of them should have had a peach.

155

Why would Trump never move to the Midwest?

For fear that he would be known as

The Little Louse on the Prairie.

156

Trump gets invited to many weddings

as father of the bribe.

157

From his business experience

Trump knows all about retailiation.

158

The new Fox game show —

Republican Limbo:

How low can the Barr go?

159

Dante rewritten —

The Swine Comedy

or De Senate to Hell.

160

Trump’s Oath of Office —

I will faithfully execute the Office of President,

by firing squad,

and will preserve, protect and defend

the Constipation of the United States.

161

Trump should form a band of bothers.

His cheerleaders would be trumpettes.

And he could play the dumbs.

162

If at first you don’t impeach,

try, try again.

Charge! on all counts.

Once again into the breach of the law.

163

Trump is extremely reliable —

he can lie over and and over again.

164

Name for a house of comfort in a retirement community —

Final Fantasy.

Its slogan —

No good wood should go to waste.

165

She thought he was the man of her dreams

until she learned he had no toes.

She was lack-toes intolerant.

166

“Howdy, Pardonner,”

said Chaucer to Trump.

“I’m sure you’ll do a hell of a good job.

No one knows Hell as well as you do.”

167

The judges have been benched.

Who ever suspected that they had a coach.

Now when will the coach turn into a pumpkin?

(He’s turning orange already.)

168

The checks and balances of American government

are like Rock, Paper, Scissors.

When the Rock decides he wins every time,

the nation is caught between

a Rock and a hard place.

169

Satan’s construction crews

are working overtime

to dig deeper circles of Hell

in preparation for Trump’s arrival.

170

Trump just fired another dozen White House staffers.

He heard that they went on walks at lunchtime,

and he won’t tolerate anyone having a constitutional.

171

Message to Congress —

If life gives you a swamp,

turn it into gatorade.

172

Therapy suggestion —

The fricking fracking wall-nut

in the White House

is nuts.

So grab him by the nuts

and crack them.

173

Trump has decided to build the wall

in New York

instead of at the Mexican border.

He’ll call it “Wall Street.”

174

Trump’s reconstituted constitution:

In order to form a more perfect onion,

establish just-is,

boost sales of tranquilizers,

provide for the common fence,

eliminate welfare,

and insecure liberty

I do disdain and disestablish this constitution.

175

Why did the Trump appointee

talk to a light bulb?

So he could say,

in good conscience,

that he spoke truth to power.

176

Why does Trump talk to his pet rock?

He hopes to learn how

to fool

all of the pebbles

all of the time.

177

Why should Trump read Sartre?

For self-knowledge,

since he’s an existential threat to the nation.

178

Trump’s apology to a lady he just groped —

Sorry. I thought that was a door knocker.

179

In India, Trump sang “Swami River”

and the guru replied —

“If you repent now and

devote the rest of your life to good deeds,

you may be reincarnated as a worm,

much higher than you are now.”

180

Trump to Modi —

Greetings from your cousins, the Indians of America.

And congratulations on your hin do attitude and

the success of Reincarnated Milk.

181

Trump was thinking of building a tower in India

and making it a massive delicatessen —

the Deli of Delis in Deli.

Then he decided to buy the Taj Mahal

and turn it into a casino catering to Hindus:

“You Bet Your Life.”

182

Re-choice! Re-choice! all ye de-voted!

Order a bloomberger

or a sloppy joe.

For Pete’s sake,

let St. Bernie come to the rescue.

Take Amy and fire,

or pick the Great Lizzie of Oz.

No matter what, Trump will come in turd.

183

Trump will soon claim credit for the Solar Probe,

which is now in position to study the corona up close

and find a cure for the coronavirus

EDITOR’S PICK: TODAY’S TRUMP DUMP!