Trump found not guilty by a jury of his mates

Trump found not guilty by a jury of his mates

ALL people can be divided into which of two domestic pets they prefer, unless you are someone who is in any way open to subtlety. Which are you? 

Dog person

You love going for walks with a loyal companion whose faeces you collect in crinkly little bags, and hate the idea of a companion not obsessively fixated on your approval that could not survive without you.

There is no way you could never have a pet cat because they don’t leap up when you enter the house, filling the void inside you.

Cat person

You want a pet which is independent, like you are, and seems not to suffer terrible, crushing loneliness because of it, like you want to learn to be.

Having your clothes and possessions covered in fine hairs at all times is fine with you, as is having to buy the affections of an animal with pouches of chicken liver because inside you know you don’t really deserve love.

Person who understands it’s not that simple

Your identity is not based on attachment to a non-verbal furball and you are content to live in a world of uncertainty, variety and change.

By rejecting the pet binary you forge your own path in the world, striding ahead and refusing to be defined by pedestrian choices. You are also someone nobody really knows, trusts or likes.