TRUMP BLEATS VICTORY!

TRUMP BLEATS VICTORY!

After escaping decapitation, King Donald twirled around his country like a crazed ballerina.  He shrieked victory from town to town accompanied by Adam Schiff howling in a cage. Lord of the Stool Steve Miller administered electric shocks to the former congressman’s genitals.

“Do you know how long it look for me to find Shifty Schiff’s dick?” the devourer of Mexican babies snorted. “He ought to change his  name to “ATOM.”

The thousands of sweaty Trumpaholics jammed in Princess Ivanka Stadium roared until spit rolled off their chins and urine ran down their legs. Further delight followed when soldiers pulled in a wagon carrying Nancy Pelosi hanging from a cross.

The crowd growled with hate until the great King Donald now bloated to 400 pounds descended from the heavens on a cloud. He was wearing a wedding dress and a solid gold toilet around his neck.

After landing, the King strode back and forth across the stage with his gaze fixed on the Heavenly Throne that God had abandoned as the gelatinous masses hunkered down on the stadium floor.

“I am replacing Jesus Christ as the Second Person of the Triune God. ‘Turn the other cheek?’ That’s bullshit.”

The masses screeched as they defecated on the ground. They gurgled, wheezed, and puked in tribute to their Leader.

 “I hereby announce that Vladdie and I got married this afternoon. Check out this amazing ring!” he said as he pointed to the golden toilet.

“I am proud to assume the role of loving wife in our marriage.”

The masses fainted in ecstasy.

EDITOR’S PICK FROM OUR TALENTED GLOSSY NEWS SATIRISTS