The failing Big Ben bong campaign has been revealed as the perfect metaphor, in which an extremely expensive vanity project has not been thought through by the people advocating for it.
As the House of Commons Commission indicated that spending £500,000 to stop all renovation work, installing a temporary floor and transporting the bell itself was probably not the wisest thing to do, many Brexiters have called such objections ‘nonsense’.
Mark Francois told reporters, “Why let a little thing like ‘it’s a massive and unnecessary waste of money’ be a reason not to do something. Wasting massive amounts of cash on things we don’t need to do is very much my raison d’etre. That’s French by the way, because I don’t hate foreigners, despite what the liberal media tells you.
“If all this country ever thought about was how much things would actually cost us, then we’d never have voted for Brexit, would we – and you can quote me on that.
“What makes this nation great is coming up with poorly thought through plans that cost huge amounts of money and deliver literally no value to the country. And I think we can all agree the Big Ben bong very much fits the bill.”
Meanwhile, non-morons in government have suggested hiring a PA system to hide behind the clock face, and simply plugging in an MP3 player with the bongs recorded at 11pm on 31st January – and using the other £499,000 to hire nurses for one of London’s struggling hospitals.
“What a fucking stupid idea,” concluded Francois, “How is that going to make me look like the nation’s only true patriot in the eyes of Brexit voters?”