The latest coronavirus advice from the British government is to self-isolate for seven days if any symptoms of coronavirus are present, and for two weeks if you know you’ve been in a high-risk area.
The UK is ‘very close’ to forcing seven-day self-isolation upon anyone with ‘even minor respiratory tract infections or a fever’
— ITV News (@itvnews) March 9, 2020
Some might say that 52 per cent of the country had voted to self-isolate in 2016, so this advice is very much on brand, but the idea of having to do it individually has had some interesting reactions.
These were our favourites.
Don’t know how long to self-isolate for? Follow this handy guide:
Human: 14 days
Dan Wootton: 25 years
Jacob Rees-Mogg: 100 years
Boris Johnson: Indefinite#coronavirusuk
— Toby Forrest (@TobiasOGForrest) March 10, 2020
My petition for all the Saturday nights I spent playing World of Warcraft count as “time served” against any future Covid19 self-isolation has been rejected.
There is no justice.
— Dmitry Grozoubinski (@DmitryOpines) March 10, 2020
In like 9 days we’re all gonna be in coronavirus self-isolation just padding around our apartments eating chickpeas & helplessly muttering the song from Reply All
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) March 7, 2020
Thing that most horrifies me about these panic buying videos is that people only seem to be buying toilet roll. Fuck are going to do during self-isolation? Endlessly shit? At least buy some beer.
— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) March 7, 2020
Media: Life may change drastically as coronavirus could force self-isolation for days to weeks…
— Kyle Hill (@Sci_Phile) March 6, 2020
– Boring, clinical
– Following the orders of a government
– Nobody will notice your effort
“Exiled for the good of the realm”
– Everyone will wonder what you did
— Ciarán’s Artisanal Shitposting (@Sarklor) March 7, 2020
it is no coincidence that the 14 day self-isolation period is the perfect length to spend 7 hours a day rewatching all 264 episodes of Frasier
— Ken Cheng (@kenchengcomedy) March 10, 2020