Man singing on London balcony told to shut the f**k up

Man singing on London balcony told to shut the f**k up

ARE your feelings of anxiety and peril making you think it’s a good idea to text your ex? Don’t. This will pass and you’ll feel like a twat. Here are some more things not to do.

Have a ‘big talk’ with your partner

Been waiting for a moment when you have plenty of time to address a problem in your relationship? This is not it. Choosing now to bring up your brief but passionate affair with their sister in 2009 is a big mistake.

Start that novel you always wanted to write

People who start a novel and never finish it can blame the pressures of work and family rather than having no talent. You have no such excuse and plenty of time on your hands, so you’ll have to face up to your tragic lack of creativity.

Watch every episode of The Handmaid’s Tale

Is there a box set you’ve heard loads about but never had time to watch? Choose wisely. Watching The Handmaid’s Tale or The Walking Dead now will give you an anxiety disorder on top of the one you already have from the lockdown.

Embark on a large DIY project

Always wanted to knock through the dining room wall to create an open-plan living space? If you choose to do it during lockdown, not only will you turn your home into a hideous building site you can’t escape, but you can’t call a builder to fix your stupidity.

‘Reach out’ to exes or enemies

Thinking about patching things up with people you hate? Bad idea. When this ends, you’ll still hate them but you’ll have foolishly invited them back into your life to mess it up again.