A man has been left thoroughly chastised after failing to remember where his wife left her purse.
Simon Williams, 32, faced the wrath of his wife Sharon this morning after failing to instantly recall the location of said purse, despite it not being his, or his never having used it.
“Jesus, you’re useless,” he was told, leaving him under no illusions at the low regard in which he is held by the woman he promised to love forever.
“I’m going to be late now, is that what you want? I’ll just look for it myself shall I?” Sharon went on seemingly moving on from criticism of him not knowing where the purse is, to criticism of him not having found it yet, despite it only being five seconds since the first reprimand.
As Simon opened a kitchen drawer, Sharon snapped, “I’ve already looked in THERE, haven’t I!
“It was the first place I looked, do I look like a bloody idiot?” she asked, in what Simon desperately hoped was a rhetorical question, because the alternative did not lead anywhere good.
“Why can’t you just leave my stuff alone?” she continued, seemingly unaware that Simon does everything he can to leave her stuff well alone, for fear of getting into trouble for moving it.
“You’re going to have to give me some money now, I can’t keep looking or I’ll be late for work,” she concluded, before being handed a twenty-pound note from Simon’s wallet.
Moments later, as she got in her car to drive to work, she realised that yesterday afternoon she’d put her purse in the glove box while getting a parking ticket for her car.
Simon is still unaware of this fact.