Has to be fate: Lieutenant finds soulmate at bar closest to main gate

Has to be fate: Lieutenant finds soulmate at bar closest to main gate

By Cat Astronaut

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Love cast its mysterious spell over Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune this weekend when 2nd Lt. Brett Larson met his soulmate at the bar closest to the main gate.

“I usually don’t believe in destiny and all that stuff, but how many brand new lieutenants find the love of their life within two weeks of checking into their first unit?” asked Larson. “And who said fate doesn’t exist?” 

Larson’s friends and family were overjoyed when they heard the news. They couldn’t believe such serendipity could strike so early in the young officer’s career.

“It’s a real-life miracle that he was able to find true love in such close proximity to the [bachelor officers quarters],” said friend 1st Lt. Guy Holmstead. “I had to go all the way down to Topsail Island to meet my wife at a trailer bar.”


Larson initially had some misgivings after his sweetheart told him her dad was a retired warrant officer who worked at range control and didn’t think highly of junior officers. But there is no obstacle their love could not overcome.

“I was a little worried when she said she was an active duty lance corporal,” he said. “But turns out she’s in a different unit and is being administratively separated because of her third DUI anyway, so really it’s not fraternization that much.”

The couple is set to be married less than a month after they first laid eyes upon each other, in what is sure to be a long and prosperous union.

“No, it doesn’t bother me that she’s still ‘technically’ married to a Staff Sergeant,” said Larson. “The divorce should be finalized any week now, and she says he’s totally cool with it.”

Cat Astronaut is a demobilized mobile infantryman and the creator of Ye Olde Tyme News. Blondes Over Baghdad contributed reporting.

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