A couple from South Wales have named their newborn son Brexit to mark the UK’s glorious escape from the clutches of the European Union.
A baby born in Swansea has become the first – and hopefully last – person to be given the name ‘Brexit.’
Simon and Karen Williams explained that they wanted to mark the momentous occasion as well as give their child the best possible start in life.
“Karen’s due date was 31st January,” said Simon. “So when Brexit was delayed again in the autumn and that became the new deadline we were incredibly excited. It felt like fate!
“She went into labour a week early but it was still close enough for us to stick with the name.
“Being called Brexit he’s bound to have loads of friends and be really successful,” added Karen. “He won’t need to reach out to other people – they’ll all come to him and beg to be his mate.
“Of course there are compromises now that Brexit has arrived. We were planning to go to Majorca in the summer but it’s a bit difficult with a baby – we hadn’t realised how much Brexit would restrict our freedom of movement!
“Actually, we’re going to have to tighten our belts a bit anyway,” said Simon. “Brexit’s bloody expensive. I mean, I knew there’d be costs but didn’t expect to be this much worse off each and every week.
“I’ve also asked work for flexible working arrangement, insisting they need me more than I need them – but it didn’t work, they actually seemed quite amused, and it appears Brexit might also have impacted my job prospects.
“But hey – check out this awesome change mat designed like a football pitch! Oops, Brexit’s just taken a shit all over our goals. Little scamp!
“Still, it’s all good. Brexit will now be a part of our family life every single day – forever!”
We would like to reassure readers that social services have been informed.