Leave supporters’ Brexit celebrations have been cut short by the appalling revelation that the British Academy of Film and Television still plans to recognise foreign ‘talent.’
Barely two days have passed since Britain took back control and yet those bloody foreigners are still infiltrating and contaminating our cultural identity, according to some Leave supporters.
Simon Williams thought the BAFTAs would be the perfect way to round off a weekend of offensive patriotic chest-beating.
“The B stands for British,” said Simon. “So I thought they would be giving awards to proper British films like James Bond and Star Wars.
“But then they go and read out nominees for ‘Best Film Not in the English Language’.
“I’ll tell you exactly what the best film not in the English language is – a film not in an English cinema!
“And the winning foreign film was called ‘Parasite.’ Well, at least they admit it! Bloody foreign scroungers.
“Not for much longer though. Boris will soon be implementing laws to stop these fresh off the boat types taking over our cinemas. We’re gonna take back control of the multiplex!
“If I wanted to watch films with subtitles I’d have learned to read! It’s a bloody disgrace!”
A Downing Street spokesman pointed out that Boris actually has no plans to introduce legislation that would restrict the screening of foreign language films in cinemas across the UK.
“The Prime Minister is actually quite a big fan of foreign film,” he said. “Particularly French cinema.
“You know, because of the tits.”